Montana 2.0

Although big sky Montana is an incredibly beautiful state, it is also tediously large to drive through (in square miles, I believe it falls somewhere between Texas and the planet Jupiter). Of course it’s the only state we routed ourselves through twice, so that was probably not the brightest travel planning we've employed. That being said, we put the hammer down and did most of the eastward pass-through in one drive, en route to Mt. Rushmore, Fargo, and eventually Michigan. I guess what I'm saying is that this post is really just about me passing time in the car. 

Let the random thoughts commence...

Rocky Mountain oysters are popular out here. If you are not familiar, they are, quite simply, deep-fried, bull balls. (Just so we're clear, yes, I am referring to those balls.) And although my culinary curiosity is generally beyond reproach, I am choosing to satisfy that curiosity at a later date. Clinton, Montana is home to the annual Testicle Festival, where you can enjoy any number of beef gonad variations while ducking the summer heat in a beer tent filled with half-dressed, occasionally bathed, biker types. If this is making your mouth water, I believe Rocky Mountain oysters can also be ordered on line. Incidentally, this seems like an appropriate time to mention that my restaurant review post has been updated with spots through Idaho. Click here to view. Mmmmm.

All my life I thought prairie dogs were bigger, like actual dogs. I suppose for marketing purposes, though, the more aptly descriptive prairie rat didn’t test well in focus groups. We’ve seen them at many of the roadside turnouts here begging for handouts from tourists. The East Coast has similar, roadside begging fauna, except there they call them seagulls. 

Having overdosed on scenic vistas and having relinquished the wheel, I decided to turn my attentions inward. Our sister, Rita, from the Cafe Risque post, asked us to pick up spoons from all the states we visited. She collects them. I don’t understand this, but we have been faithfully complying. Labeling them was my idea.

Rest areas don’t offer much in terms of points of interest, but Wife was able to make a dear friend. 

As the proselytizing billboards continue throughout the high plains, and I'm confronted with those seductive bedroom eyes, I’m wondering just what kind of love we’re talking about here. 

We are into this over 4,000 miles now. 

Even Brian fell over because he is tired. 

So am I.