Small Hands and Big Feet

When the impromptu Trump T-shirt stands started popping up on the streets of Fargo a few days ago, I was starting to wonder whether it was time to bid adieu to the garishly red state of North Dakota. When it was announced that the tiny-fisted Heat Miser, himself, would be fomenting the masses at an arena two blocks from our hotel, we left town for Minnesota with squealing tires and a puff of smoke that would have made the Road Runner proud. Goodbye, Fargo. It’s been fun. Enjoy your orange tyrant. 

Bought it to wrap fish

I buried Paul.

Northern Minnesota is basically Michigan’s Upper Peninsula but with different licence plates. So, for me, it feels very familiar and comfortable, like MASH re-runs. And since Minnesota continued to fulfill our newfound love of giant fiberglass statuary, there were plenty of opportunities to snag selfies with giant pike, Volkswagen-sized rodents, and, well, actual-sized Paul Bunyons. 

Let's just cut to the chase, shall we.

Remember the Brady Bunch episode where Peter and Bobby had a fight and painted a line down the middle of their bedroom? This is where they must live now.

Sasquatch-sploitation

There's a little Minnesota town named Remer that claims to be the bigfoot capital of the world. A few years back, a Remer resident captured a grainy, dimly-lit image of a shadow on his automated trail camera, and now a large portion of the town’s economy is based on Sasquatch post cards, books, and life sized cutouts. One of the basic cable shows even filmed a bigfoot hunt there. If you buy into the premise, I suspect the locals, with a wink and a nudge, refer to it as “being Remer’d.”

And speaking of which, we ended our day’s journey in Hurley, Wisconsin, near the Michigan border. Hurley has the distinction of having more strip clubs, per capita, than anywhere else in the US (sorry, but that includes you too, Las Vegas). Of course that little tidbit of information was largely absent from the Booking.com review of the Days Inn we stayed in, but I guess that explains why the dollar bill change I received from the front desk had glitter on it and smelled faintly of cotton candy body spray. Hmm, I wonder how often Hurley bank tellers get tested for STDs. 

Check out this National Geographic video about Hurley...

Why all the chainsaws hanging from the ceiling at Brewsters in Ironwood? To cut your pasty of course.

Eat at Joe's.

We ended up walking across the river into Ironwood, Michigan and drinking in a bar that had old chainsaws suspended from the ceiling. In the UP, that’s completely normal, so I will comment no further. Ironwood is also home to Joe’s Pasty Shop, maker of world famous pasties for over 50 years. By the way, pasties are meat and potato filled wads of dough, not the PG-13 rendering nipplewear probably much more at home across the river in Hurley, WI. 

This should probably be the sign between Hurley, WI and Ironwood, MI